Productivity

Why we should stop basing our self-worth off of our productivity levels.

Something that I really struggle with is getting down on myself when I am not "productive". I worry about sleeping in and not getting the most out of my day. I worry about needing to workout in the morning with fear that I am not going to get it done later in the day. I worry about sitting down and doing nothing or scrolling on my phone for a few minutes because I could be getting work done. I worry about not getting my assignments done right when they are posted even if they are not due for a while. I worry about not closing my move rings (being very vulnerable here). I worry mostly in the afternoons when I don't have anything to do because it forces me to just be.

However, I have really been trying to challenge this productivity-disordered mindset because I know it holds me back from being happy. Constantly worrying about being productive is an energy taker. Resting and allowing yourself to flow through each day rather than force productivity is an energy giver.

Redefining Productivity

I think it is really important to first identify what productivity means to you. For the longest time I thought being productive meant waking up super early, working out a ton, eating very "healthy", constantly doing work and just always being on the go. Now I have redefined productivity through the concept of intention.

Anything can be productive if I do it with intention. For example, sitting on my bed in my little dorm room after my shower and going on my phone for 20 minutes is productive because it allows me to recharge and take a break from my busy day. Sleeping in is productive because it gives me energy to attack my day. Hanging out in my room with my friends is productive because I get to deepen my relationships with them and laugh :)

Burnout

Not only does the the unhealthy mindset and lifestyle of productivity lead to burnout but also unnecessary anxiety. Feeling the need to constantly be doing something occupies your mindset and does not allow you to focus on the important things in your life. If you don't slow down and rest, everything will catch up to you.

I always catch myself throughout the year feeling burnout. Sometimes, it is my loved ones who realize first because it affects my relationships. Just like it can be so hard to seek help -- it can also be really challenging to admit to your struggles in fear of losing control.

This past summer when I was in San Diego with my family I was really struggling with this. I was on a beautiful vacation and unfortunately could not fully enjoy it because I was so caught up in the idea of being productive. I was not focused on the right things. I was not living intentionally. I was worried way too much with my image and how other people perceived me. My relationship with my family is something I cherish and value so much and suddenly it felt like I was losing that aspect of myself. I was way too focused on myself as I was about to go to college for the first time with no idea of what to expect. So, I held onto comfort and tried to control everything I could -- I was living in fear of the unknown.

My dad and I went on a walk along the Coronado beach and it was extremely eye-opening. At first, the things he was saying were not easy to hear. I was very defensive. But I ultimately came to the realization that -- Iiving with the mindset of constantly having to be doing something is no way to live. My dad looked at me and said, "Mary, you need to slow down" and this is something I remind myself everyday.

"Slow down. Enjoy your meal, focus on folding your laundry, don't rush while driving home, why are you in such a hurry? Where are you going, really? Enjoy your time in every moment. Truly live in it...Because you might get to the end of your life and realize you were racing towards nothing."

"QUIET THE CHAOS AROUND YOU.

TUNE INTO THE ENERGY INSIDE YOU."

When you allow yourself to slow down if you schedule allows, you will ultimately crave the productivity. It will come naturally to you. Allow your desire to be productive to be intuitive. You are worth so much more than your productivity levels. Redefine what productive means to you. Live intentionally. Find your natural energy. Slow down.