Make most of the mundane

Hello people!!!

I'm back at school, back in the full swing of classes and practice, back into my new little life in college -- still adjusting to say the least.

I decided to write this as an outlet, a hobby, a release... I want to do it more because I love it. But sometimes my anxiety and productivity perfectionist voice creeps in and tells me that this isn't worth my time. But I'm here to remind you and myself to do whatever makes you happy and whatever brings you peace no matter what anyone thinks. This is my way of doing something for myself today. I encourage YOU to do something for yourself today no matter how small or silly.

Okay so let me tell you how I made my mundane day incredible...but first let's back track.

To put it simply I am a college girl who genuinely does not vibe with the college lifestyle, the college kid stereotype if you will. I struggle to get excited for the weekend because rather than having the weekend as a release, I get super anxious thinking about needing to find an excuse to stay in. It can be super lonely because your choices are either go out and conform to do things you don't want to do but be with the people you love or stay home alone. I then in turn feel guilty for feeling this way because I am doing it to myself!!! But rather than blaming myself for the way I am, I decided to take control of my thoughts and emotions. I sat with them for a bit, but I decided to not let them take control of me.

With this being said, it has taken me all of last year and the first month of my sophomore year to feel comfortable sharing this! I anticipate myself still struggling with these decisions in the future but I am deciding to OWN WHO I AM!!! Your true friends will love you regardless of if you like the party scene or not.

I went on this so-called tangent because it truly affected my whole week. During the week I would not be present in class, at practice, or with my friends because I would be so anxious and worried that I was not enjoying my life to the fullest...BS BS BS I am allowed to live however makes me happy so here is how I used my anxieties to my advantage and turned my mundane days around.

This past weekend I had good conversation with the people I love about my struggles and not to my suprise, expressing myself through conversation set me up for a great week! Although I am writing about this on Tuesday night I am back tracking and journaled about all the ways that I set myself up for success. On Sunday night I went to my Morgan's Message meeting which always fills my cup even when I don't want to leave my room and walk across campus to a meeting -- one of those things that once you go you just feel so much better. After my meeting I came home took a nice shower, read my book, went on my phone for a bit and went to sleep. I had a great night sleep and woke up on Monday morning ready to make the mundane special!

I woke up anxious for the day ahead, for the week ahead. However, I used the power of intention to calm me down. I began by going to the gym for the first time in a while for light movement. On Monday I decided that hour was going to be dedicated to me doing something for me. I was craving moving my body that had nothing to do with field hockey and that is what I did. (Side note: breaking up with my apple watch has done wonders for my relationship with exercise) I came home journaled, made my bed, opened the blinds, lit a candle, made a good breakfast and sipped on a warm coffee. Once I finished filling my cup for the day I started my homework, went to my class and wrote a realistic to do list with all my work. One thing at a time, I told myself and continue to tell myself. I got my work done, ate some lunch, and rested before practice. This set me up for a great practice, a great sleep, and now a great Tuesday!

Something we have been focusing on within our athletic department and something I am working on spreading throughout campus are EGBs -- energy giving behaviors. Everytime you see someone walking bye, say hi! Give them a high five! Smile! Ask how their day is! Compliment them! You never know what someone is going through but something we do know is that everyone is going through something so why not be a nice human and potentially make someone's day. I decided to really focus on this at practice and it ultimately energized me!

When I woke up this morning, I was determined to have another great day. So again, I took control of my mind and focused on the things that were in my control. I made my coffee and my bed, did my journaling, and ate some breakfast. I did my homework, went to my 4 classes, went to practice and thrived. For so long I was focused merely on surviving the day.

Survival mindset: I just need to get through these classes and then practice. I already can't wait to go to sleep tonight.

Thriving mindset: I am going to make the most out of each class. I may not be excited to sit in the classroom from 10 to 5 but I am so grateful for the opportunity to learn today. All I can do is my best and that is enough.

This is not easy. This mindset shift takes effort and it is a daily mindfulness practice that can be so challenging. I encourage you to just try. Even if it is only a few minutes a day -- set an intention and focus on a little win you can achieve. I promise you are going to be okay.

Tonight I was reminded that I am so so so incredibly grateful for these 2 amazing days. This sounds silly but seriously the littlest things mean the most if you let them. I looked over at a teammate tonight and she was really struggling, I hugged her and said "you have made it through all of your hardest days, you have seen today before and you will see it again BUT the sun will rise again and we will try again. You are never alone. I know how you feel." Lifting up your people and making them feel safe to be vulnerable is such a beautiful thing. It makes you realize that no matter what state you are in -- maybe you are in survival mode right now -- you will be okay because you are never alone.

Okay well I am going to read and go to bed now but I am just such a passionate girl with sooooooooo many thoughts and want to share them all with the world. I have so much love in my heart and want to tell everyone reading this that you are SO LOVED. I know not many people read these but whoever does, go tell someone you love that they are SO LOVED and let's just keep spreading the dang love because we all need it.

I am not going to read this over so if there are type o's that just describes my crazy brain!

XO,

Mo